The real me.

I find that i'm a Very different person when it's just me and someone else. i'm not the same in a group, i don't always show the true me... though i do try. When i get alone with someone, just to talk, i'm not as loud as i am in a group, and many times i just want to listen. I like to know about people, what they're thinking, how they feel about certain topics, what's going on in their lives and emotions... and all the other things people like to hide. Not because i'm a busybody, or want to tell other people... but because i want to truly know people. one of my very favorite things to do is either to have someone over, just to talk, and maybe drink coffee or tea. or go to someones house and do the same... or driving is good too. Just me and someone else in a car going somewhere. I don't have many people that i actually feel free to talk to, and the ones that i do usually don't have time for me. i really hate it, because i feel like no one actually cares enough to want to see the real me. I can't think of a single person that i've told everything to. I have so many things just beneath the surface that i'm longing to get out. but i can't just tell them to anybody. And the people i do want to tell, never have time, or they live too far away. So it's like i have to just act like everything about my life is just fine and dandy... but it's not.  i wish i had even one person who wanted to talk with me, and i wanted to trust. Don't get me wrong though... i don't just want to just vent to someone... I want to be truly known, for who i am, and be able to know that someone still cares about me, knowing all of my secrets. But like i said, i want to know about people too. all of their secrets, and dreams. I want real relationships. Like god intends for us. I want to have friends who are willing to take the time to find the real me.


(I'm not saying that i'm fake in groups. I'm just completely different.)