I hate it so much when i want to get to be better friends with someone, and i get shut down. It's like i'm actually willing to trust you, and hear you, and be here for you. And you don't want that. See i don't get that. If someone genuinely wanted to know me, and care about me in any way at all, i'd probably grab. I'm a very love energized person... when i don't get any at all i just feel like crap. I'm not even talking about ushy gooshy boy girl love (though that would be great too!!!) but just friend, family, genuine love... i can think of... about 6 people right now that i know genuinely care about me. 5 are miles away, and the other has a super busy life right now... don't get me wrong, there're other people that love what they see of me, and care about me. but they don't know my inner thoughts, they don't express to me what they think of me, and they don't want/have time to know all of me. I've wanted love for as long as i can remember... it's what i run on. (i'm not even gonna get into gods love in this blog... i'm referring to earthly fleshy love) when i don't get it... i slowly turn to ashes. even a little love gets me a L>>>o>>>n>>>g>>> way. i'm not one of those super needy, clingy people. I just want a little love. My biggest love languages are Touch, and Words. One of my friends has no idea just how much i suck from the few hugs i get from them, because i can tell it's a genuine hug, from someone who loves me for who i am, where i'm at. That same person has given me compliments, and made comments about me that i drain off of for months and months afterwords. once again, because i know they're genuine, and they're coming from a person who i respect almost more than life... almost. Basically what i'm getting at, is i'm here, ready and waiting, willing to give as much love as possible. I just want to give it to someone who will appreciate it, and give even a little in return.
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